Supporting Young People who Stammer

Children typically start to stammer around the ages of two to five.  At this age, children undergo fantastic leaps in their speech, language and communication development; their vocabulary is rapidly increasing, they are starting to use longer, more complex sentences, their speech sound system is maturing and their understanding of language and the world around them is evolving. We can think of these skills as a child’s “abilities”.

There are also lots of other important events that happen at this age. Children are likely starting nursery or school, their emotional development is ever increasing, the expectations of a child’s behaviour change and sometimes there may a new sibling born, to name a few. We can think of these things as extra “demands” placed on the child.  

When there are more demands placed on your child, than their abilities can cope with, we may see your child stammer. We can liken this to a simple "bucket analogy". The bucket represents your child’s abilities, and the water that is poured into the bucket represents the additional demands placed on the child. There is only so much water the bucket can hold. When there is too much water poured into the bucket, the water spills out. This water represents your child’s stammer. Stammering has so many factors that impact it and there is no one set "cause" to stammering. 

We can support children who stammer by trying to reduce the demands placed on them, and also develop their abilities to help try and keep the water level. All children have different strengths and needs and therefore it is important that you explore the different recommendations to best fit your child and your family.

Below are some suggestions on to support children who stammer;

• Consider how you respond to your child when they are taking to you. It helps to give your child your full attention, maintain eye contact with them and get to their level. This helps them to see that you are actively listening to them and are interested in what they are saying.

• The way we talk about stammering can impact a child’s view on how they talk. We see stammering as a valid and acceptable way of talking; it is a difference, rather than a disorder. To support this way of thinking, use neutral language when talking about stammering to reduce any negative connotations. For example, you may say “he is stammering more this week”, rather than saying “his stammer has got worse this week”. You could also say “she is stammering less this week”, rather than describing your child’s stammer as " getting better”.

• For children who are becoming aware of their stammer, and frustrated or upset, it can be useful to acknowledge their stammer and talk about it with them. This helps to normalise it, and reduces stigma. You can do this by acknowledging their frustration, for example, you could say "I can see you are getting frustrated, it is ok, I am listening". It may be useful to use child friendly books with your child to introduce stammering in a sensitive way. Take a look at the STAMMA webpage for ideas: Books For Children Who Stammer | STAMMA

  
  

• For children who stammer, it is important that they are given time to finish their sentences. Furthermore, at times, it may also take a child who stammers longer to get their message across. To support this, you can model turn taking in conversations. This is particularly important when there are other children in the family who may have lots to say and may find it difficult to wait! You could try turn taking games such as snakes and ladders or pop-up pirate with the young person and their family members to practise this skill first. You could also remind siblings, and the child who stammers to wait their turn in the conversation if they speak over each other. It is equally important that adults also model this too! 

  
  

• It can be helpful for children who stammer to have some quality 1:1 time with their parents. This dedicated time should take place somewhere calm, and your child should choose the activity. Try to be present with your child, and focus on what they are taking about, rather than if they stammer when talking.

• It can be tempting to ask children lots of questions when interacting with them.  Often people think that by asking questions, they are showing they are interested in their child’s activity or day. For children who stammer, questions can add an additional demand. Try and balance the questions you ask with comments. For every one question you ask, try and use four comments. For example, if playing Lego with your child, you could say “that's such a big tower!", "my tower fell over!", "I like the colours you have picked", "fantastic building", and follow this up with a question "where shall I put my brick?". 

  
  

• Help to build your child's confidence by giving them specific and authentic praise. This helps them to see their strengths, or what they are trying their best in. For example, you may say "I really like how you have used all those colours, you are so creative", or "you worked so hard with your brother then, fantastic teamwork". 

  
  

  If you have concerns about your child's stammer and would like more tailored support, please do not hesitate to reach out. 

Get in touch